Reconciliation and Healing from the Inside Out
Forgiveness doesn’t necessarily bring reconciliation. When angry words and actions lead to broken relationships, trust is destroyed. Trust is not easily regained.
Reconciliation—Healing from the Inside Out
2MefromHim Devotionals
Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so? Amos 3:3
Reconciliation appeared impossible. The gaping wound awakened me again. I flicked on the light and curled into my recliner, hurting, unable to sleep, and wracked with tears. A tornado of conflict and disagreement whirled through my brain, flinging splintered bits and pieces of my life and relationships through my mind. Everything I knew was changed, distorted, and destroyed. My heart was so wounded I saw no way I would ever be whole again.
Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so? Amos 3:3 #reconciliation #relationships Click To TweetI stared out the window into the night, watching as clouds scudded across the sky, covering the almost-full moon. The house shook in the howling wind, battered by powerful gusts, which echoed the storm in my heart. “Lord, I chose to forgive. I acted as you said, but nothing changed. Instead, much of my life appears to be based on lies. Where do I go from here?”
Forgiveness
As an illustration, hospitals isolate patients with infected wounds. Their sores are left open and cleaned frequently to rid them of contagion so healing occurs from the inside out. In the same way, forgiveness begins in the heart and eventually reaches the place where it can be offered to the offending person. However, forgiveness doesn’t necessarily bring reconciliation.
Forgiveness takes place between the person wronged and God, apart from the offender. Once I forgave, a sense of peace began to flood my life. I paid the price of forgiving those who injured me in pride, something I could well afford to pay. However, the relationships remained unreconciled because those who hurt me failed to take responsibility.
Forgiveness takes place between the person wronged and God... #forgiveness #Godislove #healing Click To Tweet
God says reconciliation comes first
Before I chose to forgive, I was infected with bitterness. Hebrews 12:15 says: “See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.” A teaching leader in Bible Study Fellowship brought in a tree root wrapped around a sprinkler pipe so tight that water could no longer flow through. Much as Cain grew to hate Abel, anger festers into bitterness, cutting off the flow of love toward the object of our resentment. Notice the last part of the verse, “and defile many.” My anger and resentment overflows to the people around me and defiles them. They choose sides, get involved, and thus become victims of the corruption, which spreads like a plague.
Bitterness defiles and spreads like a plague. #bitterness #plague #relationships Click To TweetAfter I offered forgiveness to those who hurt me and asked forgiveness for my part in the disagreements, some of the hurt began to heal. Matthew 5:23-24 says, “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.”
Reconciliation requires atonement
Reconciliation requires atonement, a price paid for the offense. Angry words and actions that lead to broken relationships destroy trust. And trust is not easily regained. It requires time and evidence of change, often some type of reparation must be made.
A relationship can’t be restored if the offender refuses to seek forgiveness or acknowledge the wrong done. Speaking of Christ’s atonement for our sin, Hebrews 9:22 says, “the law requires that nearly everything be cleansed with blood, and without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.” When I hurt someone there is a price to pay to regain trust and enable healing. The offender must accept responsibility, or continuing the relationship will result in more hurt. God never expects us to accept abuse.
What hurts do I need to forgive? What must I offer in order to heal a damaged relationship? Am I willing to humble myself that I might be reconciled to God and those I have injured?
When I hurt someone there is a price to pay to regain trust... #reconciliation #trust #healing Click To Tweet© Norma Gail Holtman, March 9, 2020
About the author:
Norma Gail writes Fiction to Refresh Your Spirit. Her contemporary novels, Land of My Dreams, which won the 2016 Bookvana Religious Fiction Award, and Within Golden Bands (releasing May 19, 2020), explore the theme of women whose faith triumphs over trials. A women’s Bible study leader for over 21 years, her devotionals and poetry have appeared at ChristianDevotions.us, the Stitches Thru Time blog, Inspire a Fire, and in “The Secret Place.” She is a member of American Christian Fiction Writers, Romance Writers of America, Historical Writers of America, and the Women’s Fiction Writers Association. Norma is a former RN who lives in the mountains of New Mexico with her husband of 44 years. They have two adult children. To connect with her, you can follow her blog, or join her on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram, Goodreads, or Amazon.
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Sins are like Scarlet Stains – 2MefromHim Devotionals
Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool. Isaiah 1:18
Sins are like Scarlet Stains
2MefromHim Devotionals
Scarlet stains
Sins are like scarlet stains. Relationships were broken, and I needed to forgive and be forgiven. Instead of meeting with grateful hearts, I sat astounded while I learned of a deep desire to hurt me and surprise that I believed they needed forgiveness. These revelations startled and hurt. Yes, the images in this blog are ugly but sin is uglier still.
Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow... #devotional #anger #hurt Click To TweetStains require forgiveness
Multiple relationships suffered incredible harm. Through prayer, God convinced me to seek forgiveness for my own angry words. I also needed to forgive those who wounded me. I determined to pray for someone who needed to hurt others and for one who failed to recognize their wrongs. We all mess up. As Christians, we must seek forgiveness daily. Sin leaves scarlet stains.
Sometimes we just don’t get along with someone, that person who rubs us the wrong way, those we tiptoe around hoping not to offend. I’ve been blessed to have very few people I couldn’t get along with, both when I worked outside the home, and in over 21 years as a women’s Bible study leader. People will wound us, however, our loving God wants to blot out scarlet stains, heal broken relationships, and make them stronger than before.
I prayed and agonized over the growing antagonism for years. The conversations left me shaken and hurt. But God is faithful, once I sought forgiveness for my wrongs, I gained the assurance that God was pleased. Ephesians 4:31-32 admonishes us to “Get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
We aren’t responsible for other’s actions
As I prayed about these broken and scarlet-stained bonds, I realized that my heart wasn’t the only one broken. God’s heart was broken too. Therefore, it was necessary to surrender my hurt to the Lord, and trust Him to heal in His time and way. Praying for those who hurt me heals, frees, strengthens, and gives me victory. I am only responsible for my actions, not those of others.
Praying for those who hurt me heals, frees, strengthens, and gives me victory... #prayer #enemies #healing Click To TweetIf I have stains, I have to act
When the Holy Spirit convicted me about my own angry words and actions, I had to swallow my pride and take the first step. I determined to act in obedience to the Lord and forgive those who wronged me. It was necessary to willingly forgive others, whether or not they saw the need. My prayers resulted in a heart willing to forgive, though it is a moment by moment choice. When I obey, God washes my sins and makes them white as snow.
I am only responsible for my actions, not those of others... #responsibility #actions #victory Click To Tweet© Copyright by Norma Gail Holtman, January 30, 2020
Norma Gail is the author of Land of My Dreams, winner of the 2016 Bookvana Religious Fiction Award. The sequel, Within Golden Bands, will release in 2020. A women’s Bible study leader for over 21 years, her devotionals and poetry have appeared at ChristianDevotions.us, the Stitches Thru Time blog, and in “The Secret Place.” She is a member of American Christian Fiction Writers, Romance Writers of America, Historical Writers of America, and the Women’s Fiction Writers Association. Norma is a former RN who lives in the mountains of New Mexico with her husband of 43 years. They have two adult children. If you’re interested in connecting with her, follow her blog, or join her on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram, Goodreads, or Amazon.
The High Road – A 2MefromHim Devotional
Choosing the high road often means remaining quiet when attacked with cruel words. It means keeping silent, as Jesus did under trial. When I am tempted to answer unfair accusations in kind, I must remember the example of my Savior and trust God to vindicate and heal.
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