Reconciliation and Healing from the Inside Out
Forgiveness doesn’t necessarily bring reconciliation. When angry words and actions lead to broken relationships, trust is destroyed. Trust is not easily regained.
Reconciliation—Healing from the Inside Out
2MefromHim Devotionals
Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so? Amos 3:3
Reconciliation appeared impossible. The gaping wound awakened me again. I flicked on the light and curled into my recliner, hurting, unable to sleep, and wracked with tears. A tornado of conflict and disagreement whirled through my brain, flinging splintered bits and pieces of my life and relationships through my mind. Everything I knew was changed, distorted, and destroyed. My heart was so wounded I saw no way I would ever be whole again.
Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so? Amos 3:3 #reconciliation #relationships Share on XI stared out the window into the night, watching as clouds scudded across the sky, covering the almost-full moon. The house shook in the howling wind, battered by powerful gusts, which echoed the storm in my heart. “Lord, I chose to forgive. I acted as you said, but nothing changed. Instead, much of my life appears to be based on lies. Where do I go from here?”
Forgiveness
As an illustration, hospitals isolate patients with infected wounds. Their sores are left open and cleaned frequently to rid them of contagion so healing occurs from the inside out. In the same way, forgiveness begins in the heart and eventually reaches the place where it can be offered to the offending person. However, forgiveness doesn’t necessarily bring reconciliation.
Forgiveness takes place between the person wronged and God, apart from the offender. Once I forgave, a sense of peace began to flood my life. I paid the price of forgiving those who injured me in pride, something I could well afford to pay. However, the relationships remained unreconciled because those who hurt me failed to take responsibility.
Forgiveness takes place between the person wronged and God... #forgiveness #Godislove #healing Share on X
God says reconciliation comes first
Before I chose to forgive, I was infected with bitterness. Hebrews 12:15 says: “See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.” A teaching leader in Bible Study Fellowship brought in a tree root wrapped around a sprinkler pipe so tight that water could no longer flow through. Much as Cain grew to hate Abel, anger festers into bitterness, cutting off the flow of love toward the object of our resentment. Notice the last part of the verse, “and defile many.” My anger and resentment overflows to the people around me and defiles them. They choose sides, get involved, and thus become victims of the corruption, which spreads like a plague.
Bitterness defiles and spreads like a plague. #bitterness #plague #relationships Share on XAfter I offered forgiveness to those who hurt me and asked forgiveness for my part in the disagreements, some of the hurt began to heal. Matthew 5:23-24 says, “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.”
Reconciliation requires atonement
Reconciliation requires atonement, a price paid for the offense. Angry words and actions that lead to broken relationships destroy trust. And trust is not easily regained. It requires time and evidence of change, often some type of reparation must be made.
A relationship can’t be restored if the offender refuses to seek forgiveness or acknowledge the wrong done. Speaking of Christ’s atonement for our sin, Hebrews 9:22 says, “the law requires that nearly everything be cleansed with blood, and without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.” When I hurt someone there is a price to pay to regain trust and enable healing. The offender must accept responsibility, or continuing the relationship will result in more hurt. God never expects us to accept abuse.
What hurts do I need to forgive? What must I offer in order to heal a damaged relationship? Am I willing to humble myself that I might be reconciled to God and those I have injured?
When I hurt someone there is a price to pay to regain trust... #reconciliation #trust #healing Share on X© Norma Gail Holtman, March 9, 2020
About the author:
Norma Gail writes Fiction to Refresh Your Spirit. Her contemporary novels, Land of My Dreams, which won the 2016 Bookvana Religious Fiction Award, and Within Golden Bands (releasing May 19, 2020), explore the theme of women whose faith triumphs over trials. A women’s Bible study leader for over 21 years, her devotionals and poetry have appeared at ChristianDevotions.us, the Stitches Thru Time blog, Inspire a Fire, and in “The Secret Place.” She is a member of American Christian Fiction Writers, Romance Writers of America, Historical Writers of America, and the Women’s Fiction Writers Association. Norma is a former RN who lives in the mountains of New Mexico with her husband of 44 years. They have two adult children. To connect with her, you can follow her blog, or join her on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram, Goodreads, or Amazon.
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To Forgive Demands a Surrender of Pride
The failure to forgive or to seek forgiveness grants the devil a foothold that destroys our hearts.
To Forgive Demands a Surrender of Pride
2MefromHim Devotionals
Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4:3
To forgive demands a surrender of pride and pain in order to reach out to others as Christ extended grace to us.
To forgive demands a surrender of pride and pain in order to reach out to others as Christ extended grace to us. #forgiveness #pride #grace Share on XLearn to forgive
As a young Christian of seventeen, it became clear that God required me to right a severed relationship. However, following a youth conference, I knew the time for healing had come. God used the heartbreak to lead me to salvation. It was all for good.
When I shared the testimony of what God did in my life, the one who hurt me sat a few feet away. I once rejected his plea for forgiveness. It was time to surrender my pride and let go of the hurt. And it freed us both. The lesson is etched in my memory.
Examples of forgiveness
Likewise, the world has never understood the importance of Jesus’ words on the Cross when he said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” We injure others by words and actions without even trying. Proverbs 11:17 says, “Your own soul is nourished when you are kind, but you destroy yourself when you are cruel.” NLT
Joseph provides an excellent example. Sold into slavery, transported to a foreign country, and thought dead by his father, he was treated unjustly time and again. Years later, when his brothers appeared seeking aide in a time of famine, he revealed himself, telling them not to be distressed. God had a plan. When his brothers feared retaliation, he answered their pleas for mercy by saying, “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good…”
Called to forgive
In recent years, a painful situation created a gulf between myself and people dear to me. Once again, the lesson I learned as a teen returned. As a result, I humbled myself to seek forgiveness for words spoken in anger. Likewise, I needed to forgive the hurt I suffered. Forgiveness is a choice made on a daily, often moment by moment basis, whenever hurtful thoughts appear.
Forgiveness is a choice made on a daily, often moment by moment basis, whenever hurtful thoughts appear. #Forgiveness #choices #relationships Share on XHumility brings reward
Quarrels never honor God. He is wounded when we offend others by our actions and words. In Ephesians 4, Paul admonishes us to “not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs.” However, our, loving Abba Father understands our weaknesses. If we humble ourselves, He will heal and renew. The failure to forgive or to seek forgiveness grants the devil a foothold that destroys our hearts.
Forgiveness frees the offender as well as the offended. #Forgiveness #freedom #reconciliation Share on XPerhaps the way you can build up another today is to apologize. Maybe you need to forgive someone who doesn’t realize how they hurt you. Forgiveness frees the offender as well as the offended. Surrender your pride. Choose to forgive. It’s never easy but the reward is peace.
© Norma Gail Holtman, February 26, 2020
About the author:
Norma Gail writes Fiction to Refresh Your Spirit. Her contemporary novels, Land of My Dreams, which won the 2016 Bookvana Religious Fiction Award, and Within Golden Bands (releasing May 19, 2020), explore the theme of women whose faith triumphs over trials. A women’s Bible study leader for over 21 years, her devotionals and poetry have appeared at ChristianDevotions.us, the Stitches Thru Time blog, Inspire a Fire, and in “The Secret Place.” She is a member of American Christian Fiction Writers, Romance Writers of America, Historical Writers of America, and the Women’s Fiction Writers Association. Norma is a former RN who lives in the mountains of New Mexico with her husband of 44 years. They have two adult children. If you’re interested in connecting with her, follow her blog, or join her on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram, Goodreads, or Amazon.
Choose Kindness & Compassion – A 2MefromHim Devotional
To choose kindness and compassion, I must overcome uncharitable and selfish thoughts. It’s what Jesus would do.
Choose Kindness and Compassion
A 2MefromHim Devotional
Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4:32
Always choose kindness and compassion. What we remember most about others is how they treat us. The best friend is one who goes out of their way to show love. Yet how easy it is to find an excuse to do the opposite.
Choose Kindness
Not long ago, I sat at the bedside of my dying aunt. As a former nurse, sitting beside a deathbed wasn’t uncomfortable, however, a friend’s visit cheered my heart. When she realized the imminence of death, she remained. We sang hymns, read scripture, and prayed. Sacrificing her own plans for the day, she sat with my uncle and me and remained until after my aunt’s passing. Her thoughtfulness and generosity will never be forgotten.
Likewise, there is a stark contrast between a display of kindness and those who are either neglectful or mean-spirited. Henry Drummond said, “The greatest thing a man can do for his heavenly Father is to be kind to some of his other children.”
Kindness Heals
I came across a quote recently from Joseph B. Wirthlin, “Occasionally, family members treat each other with less courtesy and kindness than they do acquaintances or even strangers.” I think this even applies to our family of fellow Christians and the greater family of mankind. Nothing should cause us to deny someone’s need when it is within our power to be kind. Even relationships broken by mistrust, lack of understanding, and hostility can begin to mend through a single act of self-sacrifice and care. It matters little if we understand completely, only that we help within our ability.
Broken relationships can begin to mend through a single act of self-sacrifice and care. #healing #relationships #hope Share on X
Lack of Compassion Hurts
In contrast, a confrontation with someone lacking kindness reminds me of the screams my husband and I heard coming from beside some railroad tracks near a sightseeing spot. We ran in that direction, only to discover a deer taken down by a pack of wild dogs. Though we chased them away, they returned. Similarly, to be treated with a lack of compassion and understanding leaves deep emotional wounds. Self-preservation makes us avoid people who hurt rather than help.
To be treated with a lack of compassion and understanding leaves deep emotional wounds. #compassion #depression #pain Share on XThe Cost of being Kind
My father is remembered for his kindness. After he died, a dear friend related how he showed up at their door one year with money to buy Christmas gifts for their boys. Their savings were stolen from his wife’s purse, and though our family wasn’t well off, my father somehow found the means to help.
As a child of God, I must overcome uncharitable and selfish thoughts in order to treat someone with kindness. It’s what Jesus would do. It dishonors Christ to ignore someone’s plea when I possess the power to help. Yes, it costs us to be kind. We pay in time, humility, and sometimes money. However, the reward is everlasting.
Who do you know that needs to be shown some kindness? Will you honor Christ and make the sacrifice necessary to help?
Treating someone with kindness costs us something but pleases Jesus. #kindness #healing #Jesus Share on X© Norma Gail Holtman, February 22, 2020
About the author:
Norma Gail writes Fiction to Refresh Your Spirit. Her contemporary novels, Land of My Dreams, which won the 2016 Bookvana Religious Fiction Award, and Within Golden Bands (releasing May 19, 2020), explore the theme of women whose faith triumphs over trials. A women’s Bible study leader for over 21 years, her devotionals and poetry have appeared at ChristianDevotions.us, the Stitches Thru Time blog, Inspire a Fire, and in “The Secret Place.” She is a member of American Christian Fiction Writers, Romance Writers of America, Historical Writers of America, and the Women’s Fiction Writers Association. Norma is a former RN who lives in the mountains of New Mexico with her husband of 44 years. They have two adult children. If you’re interested in connecting with her, follow her blog, or join her on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram, Goodreads, or Amazon.
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Believe that You Have Received – 2MefromHim Devotionals
Therefore I say to you, all things for which you pray and ask, believe that you have received them, and they will be granted you. Mark 11:24
Believe that You have Received
2MefromHim Devotionals
“Believe that you have received them, and they will be granted you.”
I repeat this promise multiple times a day, as I pray. As children, it’s not uncommon to disagree with a friend, move on to a new best friend, and never regain the closeness that once existed. I changed my best friends several times for multiple reasons. However, none of those instances haunts me.
All things for which you pray and ask, believe that you have received them, and they will be granted you. Share on XAs an adult, and a Christian, however, I’m held to a higher standard in my personal life than in childhood.
For instance, recent events have removed people from my daily life, my holiday table, those with whom I share my joys and sorrows, those I call on in times of need. As a result, pain throbs deep and unrelenting in a heart that is no longer whole.
Pain throbs deep and unrelenting in a heart that is no longer whole Share on XBelieve there is purpose in waiting
Jesus said, “All things for which you pray and ask, believe that you have received them.” The Holy Spirit has impressed upon my heart that there is purpose in waiting. Time spent in prayer changes my heart. To wait, patient and trusting, gives God time to work in the hearts of others.
Time spent in prayer changes my heart... Share on X
Belief requires faith. James says that if we lack wisdom we must pray. I have no idea how to approach this problem. But, the solving of the dilemma doesn’t rest solely with me. However, James says we must ask in faith and not doubt. Doubt makes me unstable and unsettled like the wind tosses waves of the sea against the rocks.
Believe prayer changes your heart
I am weary of the battered, brokenness of being constantly tossed against the rocks. Therefore, I began to pray daily for God to heal, to bring repentance, and reconciliation into damaged relationships. Nothing has changed, but oh, what changes I see in my shattered heart. As a result, my days are now free of the nagging doubts and uncertainties that slammed me against the rocks and left me bruised and battered. Nights are no longer haunted by questions about “what-if” and “how.” What relief to rest, assured that my prayers are being answered, unconcerned about if, how, or when.
When I pray in God’s will, I have the assurance He will answer Share on XBelieving prayer aligns my desires with those of God. Therefore, whatever I pray is in agreement with His will. When I pray in God’s will, I have the assurance He will answer.
God’s heart breaks
God’s heart breaks when relationships are broken when His children can’t get along. It’s possible to know peace in the midst of unsettled relationships. Trust His promise and believe you have received it. When you pray, believe God will answer.
God’s heart breaks when relationships are broken when His children can’t get along Share on XTis So Sweet to Trust in Jesus
In conclusion, may this precious old hymn comfort your heart as it does my own:
‘Tis so Sweet to Trust in Jesus
’Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just to take Him at His Word;
Just to rest upon His promise,
And to know, “Thus saith the Lord!”
Refrain:
Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him!
How I’ve proved Him o’er and o’er;
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus!
Oh, for grace to trust Him more!
Oh, how sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just to trust His cleansing blood;
And in simple faith to plunge me
’Neath the healing, cleansing flood!
Yes, ’tis sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just from sin and self to cease;
Just from Jesus simply taking
Life and rest, and joy and peace.
I’m so glad I learned to trust Thee,
Precious Jesus, Savior, Friend;
And I know that Thou art with me,
Wilt be with me to the end.
Public Domain
© Copyright Norma Gail Holtman, February 7, 2020
About the author:
Norma Gail writes Fiction to Refresh Your Spirit. Her contemporary novels, Land of My Dreams, which won the 2016 Bookvana Religious Fiction Award, and Within Golden Bands (releasing in the summer of 2020), explore the theme of women whose faith triumphs over trials. A women’s Bible study leader for over 21 years, her devotionals and poetry have appeared at ChristianDevotions.us, the Stitches Thru Time blog, Inspire a Fire, and in “The Secret Place.” She is a member of American Christian Fiction Writers, Romance Writers of America, Historical Writers of America, and the Women’s Fiction Writers Association. Norma is a former RN who lives in the mountains of New Mexico with her husband of 43 years. They have two adult children. If you’re interested in connecting with her, follow her blog, or join her on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram, Goodreads, or Amazon.
Sins are like Scarlet Stains – 2MefromHim Devotionals
Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool. Isaiah 1:18
Sins are like Scarlet Stains
2MefromHim Devotionals
Scarlet stains
Sins are like scarlet stains. Relationships were broken, and I needed to forgive and be forgiven. Instead of meeting with grateful hearts, I sat astounded while I learned of a deep desire to hurt me and surprise that I believed they needed forgiveness. These revelations startled and hurt. Yes, the images in this blog are ugly but sin is uglier still.
Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow... #devotional #anger #hurt Share on XStains require forgiveness
Multiple relationships suffered incredible harm. Through prayer, God convinced me to seek forgiveness for my own angry words. I also needed to forgive those who wounded me. I determined to pray for someone who needed to hurt others and for one who failed to recognize their wrongs. We all mess up. As Christians, we must seek forgiveness daily. Sin leaves scarlet stains.
Sometimes we just don’t get along with someone, that person who rubs us the wrong way, those we tiptoe around hoping not to offend. I’ve been blessed to have very few people I couldn’t get along with, both when I worked outside the home, and in over 21 years as a women’s Bible study leader. People will wound us, however, our loving God wants to blot out scarlet stains, heal broken relationships, and make them stronger than before.
I prayed and agonized over the growing antagonism for years. The conversations left me shaken and hurt. But God is faithful, once I sought forgiveness for my wrongs, I gained the assurance that God was pleased. Ephesians 4:31-32 admonishes us to “Get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
We aren’t responsible for other’s actions
As I prayed about these broken and scarlet-stained bonds, I realized that my heart wasn’t the only one broken. God’s heart was broken too. Therefore, it was necessary to surrender my hurt to the Lord, and trust Him to heal in His time and way. Praying for those who hurt me heals, frees, strengthens, and gives me victory. I am only responsible for my actions, not those of others.
Praying for those who hurt me heals, frees, strengthens, and gives me victory... #prayer #enemies #healing Share on XIf I have stains, I have to act
When the Holy Spirit convicted me about my own angry words and actions, I had to swallow my pride and take the first step. I determined to act in obedience to the Lord and forgive those who wronged me. It was necessary to willingly forgive others, whether or not they saw the need. My prayers resulted in a heart willing to forgive, though it is a moment by moment choice. When I obey, God washes my sins and makes them white as snow.
I am only responsible for my actions, not those of others... #responsibility #actions #victory Share on X© Copyright by Norma Gail Holtman, January 30, 2020
Norma Gail is the author of Land of My Dreams, winner of the 2016 Bookvana Religious Fiction Award. The sequel, Within Golden Bands, will release in 2020. A women’s Bible study leader for over 21 years, her devotionals and poetry have appeared at ChristianDevotions.us, the Stitches Thru Time blog, and in “The Secret Place.” She is a member of American Christian Fiction Writers, Romance Writers of America, Historical Writers of America, and the Women’s Fiction Writers Association. Norma is a former RN who lives in the mountains of New Mexico with her husband of 43 years. They have two adult children. If you’re interested in connecting with her, follow her blog, or join her on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram, Goodreads, or Amazon.
