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Reconciliation and Healing from the Inside Out

Posted by on Mar 10, 2020 | 4 comments

Reconciliation and Healing from the Inside Out

Forgiveness doesn’t necessarily bring reconciliation. When angry words and actions lead to broken relationships, trust is destroyed. Trust is not easily regained.





Reconciliation—Healing from the Inside Out

2MefromHim Devotionals

Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so? Amos 3:3

Reconciliation scripture

Reconciliation appeared impossible. The gaping wound awakened me again. I flicked on the light and curled into my recliner, hurting, unable to sleep, and wracked with tears. A tornado of conflict and disagreement whirled through my brain, flinging splintered bits and pieces of my life and relationships through my mind. Everything I knew was changed, distorted, and destroyed. My heart was so wounded I saw no way I would ever be whole again.

Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so? Amos 3:3 #reconciliation #relationships Click To Tweet

I stared out the window into the night, watching as clouds scudded across the sky, covering the almost-full moon. The house shook in the howling wind, battered by powerful gusts, which echoed the storm in my heart. “Lord, I chose to forgive. I acted as you said, but nothing changed. Instead, much of my life appears to be based on lies. Where do I go from here?”


As an illustration, hospitals isolate patients with infected wounds. Their sores are left open and cleaned frequently to rid them of contagion so healing occurs from the inside out. In the same way, forgiveness begins in the heart and eventually reaches the place where it can be offered to the offending person. However, forgiveness doesn’t necessarily bring reconciliation.

Forgiveness takes place between the person wronged and God, apart from the offender. Once I forgave, a sense of peace began to flood my life. I paid the price of forgiving those who injured me in pride, something I could well afford to pay. However, the relationships remained unreconciled because those who hurt me failed to take responsibility.

Forgiveness takes place between the person wronged and God... #forgiveness #Godislove #healing Click To Tweet

Reconciliation 1

God says reconciliation comes first

Before I chose to forgive, I was infected with bitterness. Hebrews 12:15 says: “See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.” A teaching leader in Bible Study Fellowship brought in a tree root wrapped around a sprinkler pipe so tight that water could no longer flow through. Much as Cain grew to hate Abel, anger festers into bitterness, cutting off the flow of love toward the object of our resentment. Notice the last part of the verse, “and defile many.” My anger and resentment overflows to the people around me and defiles them. They choose sides, get involved, and thus become victims of the corruption, which spreads like a plague.

Bitterness defiles and spreads like a plague. #bitterness #plague #relationships Click To Tweet

After I offered forgiveness to those who hurt me and asked forgiveness for my part in the disagreements, some of the hurt began to heal. Matthew 5:23-24 says, “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.”

Reconciliation requires atonement

Reconciliation 2

Reconciliation requires atonement, a price paid for the offense. Angry words and actions that lead to broken relationships destroy trust. And trust is not easily regained. It requires time and evidence of change, often some type of reparation must be made.

A relationship can’t be restored if the offender refuses to seek forgiveness or acknowledge the wrong done. Speaking of Christ’s atonement for our sin, Hebrews 9:22 says, “the law requires that nearly everything be cleansed with blood, and without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.” When I hurt someone there is a price to pay to regain trust and enable healing. The offender must accept responsibility, or continuing the relationship will result in more hurt. God never expects us to accept abuse.

What hurts do I need to forgive? What must I offer in order to heal a damaged relationship? Am I willing to humble myself that I might be reconciled to God and those I have injured?

When I hurt someone there is a price to pay to regain trust... #reconciliation #trust #healing Click To Tweet

© Norma Gail Holtman, March 9, 2020

About the author:

Norma Gail - AuthorNorma Gail writes Fiction to Refresh Your Spirit. Her contemporary novels, Land of My Dreams, which won the 2016 Bookvana Religious Fiction Award, and Within Golden Bands (releasing May 19, 2020), explore the theme of women whose faith triumphs over trials. A women’s Bible study leader for over 21 years, her devotionals and poetry have appeared at, the Stitches Thru Time blog, Inspire a Fire, and in “The Secret Place.” She is a member of American Christian Fiction Writers, Romance Writers of America, Historical Writers of America, and the Women’s Fiction Writers Association. Norma is a former RN who lives in the mountains of New Mexico with her husband of 44 years. They have two adult children. To connect with her, you can follow her blog, or join her on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram, Goodreads, or Amazon.


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