Point of View by Marcy G. Dyer

My guest today is Marcy Dyer, author of the Desert Winds Series of Christian suspense novels. I know you will find what she has to say about Point of View helpful.

 

Wandering Wednesdays

Point of view is something that often confuses novice authors. This confusion sometimes leads to the use of mixed points of view in the author’s first works.

Third Person Omniscient: In this point of view, the narrator is not a participant in the story. Since it’s omniscient, the narrator knows all of the characters and their thoughts and feelings.

Third person omniscient is difficult to write well. Many authors try and the story winds up being confusing and almost dizzying to read.

Many publishers and editors call this head-hopping and most won’t accept novels in third person omniscient.

For example:

Jenn pulled open the door to her apartment and gasped. A body lay on the floor in her living room. Her heart pounded and she screamed.

Her neighbor, Mr. Hook ran to her side. He’d never seen Jenn so pale. What had scared her? He glanced past her and saw the body. Was the man alive? He gingerly stepped into the apartment and made his way to the man. After he checked his pulse, Mr. Hook turned back to Jenn and shook his head. If possible, her face paled even more. He walked back outside and dialed 9-1-1.

After what felt like hours, the police arrived. Detective Jones shook Jenn’s hand. He was a tall man with dark, closely cropped hair. She hoped he would figure out why someone killed this man in her apartment.

Detective Jones stared at Jenn for several seconds. Did she kill the man lying on her floor? He would need to take her downtown to ask her a few questions.

Jenn nodded and watched as Detective Jones stepped into her apartment. How long would she have to wait here before she could go to her mother’s house? No way would she set foot in her apartment tonight.

While this example isn’t most compelling writing in the world, it is an example of head-hopping. The narrator goes from one person’s thoughts to the next without missing a beat. It doesn’t tend to flow well and can be confusing at times.

Third Person Limited: In this point of view, the narrator again doesn’t participate in the story, but he knows the thoughts and feelings of only one point of view character per scene.

Using the above example, here’s the short scene rewritten in third person limited:

Jenn pulled open the door to her apartment and gasped. A body lay on the floor in her living room. Her heart pounded and she screamed.

Her neighbor, Mr. Hook ran to her side. “Jenn, are you okay?”

She nodded and pointed to the man lying in her living room floor. Was he dead? She hadn’t even checked.

Mr. Hook put his hand on her shoulder. “Wait here. I’ll see if he’s still breathing.”

Her sweet neighbor stepped into the apartment and made his way to the body. He put his fingers against the man’s neck and waited. After a few seconds, he turned to her and shook his head.

Mr. Hook walked back into the hall and dialed 911.

After what felt like hours, the police arrived. Detective Jones shook Jenn’s hand. He was a tall man with dark, closely cropped hair. She hoped he would figure out why someone killed this man in her apartment.

Detective Jones stared at Jenn for several seconds. “Please wait here. I’ll have some questions for you.”

Jenn nodded and watched as Detective Jones stepped into her apartment. How long would she have to wait before she could go to her mother’s house? No way would she set foot in her apartment tonight.

In the limited point of view, it’s easier to get closer to the point of view character. The character can draw the reader in more.

Also with limited point of view, it’s clear who the point of view character is and the author doesn’t risk confusing the reader as to whose mind they are in at any point in the story.

First Person Point of View: In this point of view, the narrator is the main character. We don’t see any other characters thoughts, only those of the narrating character.

This point of view is popular in young adult and cozy mysteries.

Using the above example, I’ll rewrite it in first person POV:

I pulled open the door to my apartment and gasped. A body lay on the floor in my living room. My heart pounded and I screamed.

My neighbor, Mr. Hook ran to my side. “Jenn, are you okay?”

I nodded and pointed to the man lying on my living room floor. Was he dead? I hadn’t even checked.

Mr. Hook put his hand on my shoulder. “Wait here. I’ll see if he’s still breathing.”

My sweet neighbor stepped into the apartment and made his way to the body. He put his fingers against the man’s neck and waited. After a few seconds, he turned to me and shook his head.

Mr. Hook walked back into the hall and dialed 911.

After what felt like hours, the police arrived. Detective Jones shook my hand. He was a tall man with dark, closely cropped hair. I hoped he would figure out why someone killed this man in my apartment.

Detective Jones stared at me for several seconds. “Please wait here. I’ll have some questions for you.”

I nodded and watched as Detective Jones stepped into my apartment. How long would I have to wait before I could go to my mother’s house? No way would I set foot in my apartment tonight.

Second Person: This point of view is rarely used in books. It uses “you” with the narrator speaking directly to the reader. This point of view is most often used in step-by-step instructions. “First you open the box…”

Past Tense: Most novels are written in past tense. Some writers will change tense midstream, but that tends to be confusing and will throw the reader out of the story. The tense in a story should remain the same. All of the above examples were past tense.

I’ve noticed the switch to present tense when the author is describing the town or the area of town where the action is taking place. This tends to come across as the author stopping the story to fill the reader in on something.

For example:

Jen made her way to the river walk in San Antonio. This area is very popular with tourists and true to form tonight it is very crowded.

She sighed. If only Kevin hadn’t dumped her.

An easy fix for the above example is to keep the story in past tense.

Jen made her way to the river walk in San Antonio. This area was very popular with tourists and true to form tonight it was very crowded.

She sighed. If only Kevin hadn’t dumped her.

Present Tense: While present tense is gaining popularity with some authors, most publishers still don’t accept submission in this tense. In my opinion, it’s awkward, but some authors like it.

I’ll use the example of Jenn and the dead body in present tense:

Jenn pulls open the door to her apartment and gasps. A body lay on the floor in her living room. Her heart pounds and she screams.

Her neighbor, Mr. Hook runs to her side. “Jenn, are you okay?”

She nods and points to the man lying in her living room floor. Is he dead? She hasn’t even checked.

Mr. Hook puts his hand on her shoulder. “Wait here. I’ll see if he’s still breathing.”

Her sweet neighbor steps into the apartment and makes his way to the body. He puts his fingers against the man’s neck and waits. After a few seconds, he turns to her and shakes his head.

Mr. Hook walks back into the hall and dials 911.

After what felt like hours, the police arrive. Detective Jones shakes Jenn’s hand. He is a tall man with dark, closely cropped hair. She hopes he will figure out why someone killed this man in her apartment.

Detective Jones stares at Jenn for several seconds. “Please wait here. I’ll have some questions for you.”

Jenn nods and watches as Detective Jones steps into her apartment. How long will she have to wait before she can go to her mother’s house? No way will she set foot in her apartment tonight.

Most publishers choose third person limited in past tense for novels, but some of the more popular cozy mysteries are written in first person past tense.

Before submitting a novel to a publisher, check their writing guidelines. Some publishers will spell out what point of view and tense they will accept. If they don’t have it in their guidelines, then third person limited in past tense is the most commonly accepted.

 

About the author:

Marcy G. Dyer is a Registered Nurse and suspense author. Like so many other writers, she began writing at a very young age, but never took herself seriously as a “real” writer until about ten years ago when she began taking courses and learning the craft of writing.

She currently has three novels from the Desert Winds Series available: Down & Out, Out for Blood, Blood & Lies. Lies & Alibis is due out November 2015.

Check out the Books page to read excerpts and reviews from these novels.

Marcy is an alumnus of the Christian Writer’s Guild and long-time member of American Christian Fiction Writers. She hosts a small critique group for ACFW and is involved in two other critique groups. For anyone seriously interested in becoming an author, she recommends a strong, diverse critique group to help authors hone crafts.

In addition to maintaining this website, Marcy hosts a blog to help those with autoimmune diseases. While many autoimmune diseases aren’t visible, they still cause chronic pain and disability. If you would like more information, please visit http://ragimp.blogspot.com