I felt alone, shaking with pain, anger, and doubt. Three weeks following my father’s sudden death, God seemed silent and very far away. I struggled to sleep at night. My whole world seemed to have turned inside out.
I’d seen death before. As a nurse I stood at the bedside of many dying people. I once listened with my stethoscope while a tired heart beat its last. I remembered my grandparent’s deaths, the early deaths of cousins, but this was my dad. This was closer by far.
God knew we would struggle with doubts. He placed answers in His word for us to read, comforting words to still our fears and calm our hearts. He doesn’t run from our questions, He answers them enough for us to trust.
Paul writes that we are not to grieve as those who have no hope. The writers of scripture were humans too, and they needed reassurance as much as we do today. The writer of Hebrews says, “Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.”
When Jesus spoke of going to prepare a place for us, and said not to let our hearts be troubled, He knew what we needed. His word is full of promises to never leave us alone, to never forsake us. We may not always feel God’s presence, but His word tells us we can trust all the time.
Look back on your life and think about the good times and the bad. Write down how you’ve seen God work in the past. Keep a record for when you need to be reminded.
Take your fears and lay them before God. One by one, name them and give them to Him. Write them down and tell Him to take them all. He will. It may be moment by moment, day by day, year after year, but God is faithful to do all He said He would. He wants us to know, beyond a shadow of a doubt that He is faithful.
Trust Him, not your own understanding, but God’s promises. It helped me. It will work for you.
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